Ultimate Centipede Trousers!

"If a centipede wanted to kit out his little centipede family with tiny centipede trousers, how much would it cost him, and can you recommend a good centipede tailor?

I wouldn't ask, but I've got a friend who really wants to know. "

What a question! I having a feeling some of you Ultimaters out there are trying to baffle me with your tricky questions...but I cannot be baffled! For I am Ultimate!

First of all a quick science lesson. Centipedes don't actually have 100 legs....(other than some cases where they'd had accidents!) and they always have an odd amount.

We need to know what centipede your friend is clothes shopping for ideally, as they vary between 15 legs to over 171 legs! However, the most common centipede (Scolopendromorpha) typically have 21 or 23 legs, whereas the most common house centipedes (Scutigera Coleoptrato) only have 15!

Centy and his family.

Ok, so I know my picture isn't perfectly representative of a real centipede! Yes it does have 16 legs, which is completely unfactual. But Hey, it is also wearing shorts.

We're not able to give you a price on such a bespoke item, but we know who can make you some!

In Decemeber 1919 a man called Spallanzani conducted an experiment with frogs....and their seaman....anyway, he successfully created some tiny trousers for the frogs to wear!

(Yes I am jealous of his ultimate outfit) The trousers would catch the seaman and then he could do whatever he liked with it. Maybe he was attempting to create what happened in New Zealand recently? Oh, you know, the Horse seaman being served in the student pubs? (So many shots and mouths jokes that i'm fighting not to use!)

He remains to believe it was purely sexual biographic, but we're not so sure.

Anyway, the man in question has since died, but i'm certain he wouldn't of passed away without first passing on his tiny creature trouser making abilities to the next generations! Look him up!